What to write in the Christmas card?

I’m pretty sure the big seller this year for Christmas is not going to be tickle-me-elmo or Xbox or anything like that. I’m sure you’ll agree with me that the record setter is quite probably going to be the book Arguing with Friends. I figure the only thing standing in the way of making my book the dark horse for this Christmas season is the writing of the Christmas card associated with your gift. After all, the title of the book could, potentially, send the wrong message to your loved ones.

So, to help you overcome this challenge, I have come up with a short list of suggestions for what you could write on the inside of the card to help clarify the true spirit of the gift.

The a near and dear friend, and I hope this gift helps keep it that way.

This gift is not meant to say that you are difficult to talk to, it’s just an interesting book I thought you might like to read. And the breathe mints aren’t meant to say that you should work on your personal hygiene, I just thought you’d like this new flavour.

A bunch of us got together on this one. Actually, quite a bunch of us.

Of course, if you’re not feeling like being diplomatic, several options exist to capture your sentiments.

It was either this or I “unfriend” you on facebook.

May this gift bring you as many blessings as your opinions have given me grey hairs.

With how you’ve been treating me lately you’re lucky to get anything!

This was cheaper than counselling, dear.

What do you get for the person who has everything… except diplomacy?

Or here’s one I wish I could take credit for, and it definitely points to the reason for the season!

Jesus loves you, but everybody else thinks you’re a jerk.

I’m sure there are many other wonderful greetings you could write on the Christmas card to help explain a gift that sort of implies that maybe your loved one is a bit difficult to get along with. Any other suggestions for the Christmas cards? Use the comment boxes!

Thoughts? Objections? Let me know...

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