I recently enjoyed part 1 of a two part radio interview hosted by Justin Brierley over at the Unbelievable podcast. Brierley contributed the least to the dialogue and mostly facilitated the conversation between his two guests, Bobby Gilpin of the UK Partnership for Christ and Charles Dayton, a lifelong Mormon.
I enjoyed it for several reasons, all of which highlight many of the points I make in Arguing with Friends.
For my day job I do predictive analysis on large gas compressors for the Oil and Gas industry. My clients want to assemble a compressor package and they want to reduce the likelihood that the unit will vibrate when they start it up. I use some state-of-the-art software to model their units, tap into my expertise regarding the physics surrounding vibration, predict the likelihood of vibration problems, and decide what changes are needed in order to make the unit run as smoothly as possible.
What’s the purpose of my job? Is it to discover the perfect way to build their unit so that they do not experience vibration problems? Actually, no! My job is not done until the unit is actually built the right way. Merely discovering the perfect way to build it is pointless unless that information ends up being implemented on the unit before they fire it up. Inherent to my job, then, is the human element. If I have personal knowledge of the perfect solution but it never leaves my mind, it’s pointless. It was all a waste. They’ll build the unit the wrong way, it will shake, and the end result would have been precisely the same as if I had never done any analysis in the first place. Continue reading
In the spirit of the Season, here’s a little historical trivia about Saint Nick that perhaps not enough people know about. Sure he’s nice, gives gifts, etc, but don’t for a second think he’ll take any theological nonsense from heretics. His approach certainly is effective, but he obviously hasn’t read Arguing with Friends.
In Arguing with Friends (and elsewhere on my blog) I have strongly suggested that we should spend more time discussing these major life issues in person rather than through electronic communication. This article beautifully illustrates my point and the image of the hobbits from Lord of the Rings is absolutely spot on. As a general rule I think most people need to completely avoid internet discussions because the risk of damaging relationships is just so high that it offsets any possible advantages that electronic communication might offer.
But, there is another side to this discussion; internet dialogue has its place.
I’m pretty sure the big seller this year for Christmas is not going to be tickle-me-elmo or Xbox or anything like that. I’m sure you’ll agree with me that the record setter is quite probably going to be the book Arguing with Friends. I figure the only thing standing in the way of making my book the dark horse for this Christmas season is the writing of the Christmas card associated with your gift. After all, the title of the book could, potentially, send the wrong message to your loved ones.
So, to help you overcome this challenge, I have come up with a short list of suggestions for what you could write on the inside of the card to help clarify the true spirit of the gift.
As I was reading through my Bible this morning, I read this verse. It’s a reminder that facts and arguments alone are not persuasive; there is something about the message which is intimately bound to the messenger.
The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.
(Pro 16:21 ESV)
May all our speech be sweet.
One of the themes I describe in Arguing with Friends is the concept that our conversations should proceed only to the extent that our friend is willing and interested in continuing dialogue. If our friend really isn’t interested in talking about what interests us (be it religion, politics, or even our hobbies) then we should allow them the freedom to change the subject. Of course, there are boundaries even on this, as I describe in the book, but as a general rule if their verbal or non-verbal says “back off” then you should probably back off.
Today we enjoy a little amusement to illustrate the inability to take a hint and the consequences we would like to avoid. DON’T be this kind of evangelist…
Arguing With Friends 